"Forgiving myself"

"Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. The Oxford English Dictionary defines forgiveness as 'to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt'."

When we accept Christ as our Saviour he comes to our lives and forgives us our sins, the Bible says he throws away our past and never brings it back to our lives! But guess what? We love to live hanging on to our past and making it difficult to forgive!

Well, yes I know it is not an easy process as a matter of fact lots of sights define the process in 3-alot of stages, so sure enough not easy process.  But of all the definitions available and all the therapy you can go through and I have gone to a lot,  it is a decision you have to have to make, no one can do it for you  it is up to you! Or you forgive or  you live a life full of anger and resentment and with that comes along yes those horrible wrinkles and different aches that come with all that accumulation.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. You do not need to keep on having a relationship with that other person. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with

life and your life sure is worth living!....Mine truly is! 

In all this process of forgiveness we often forget about a person that needs real healing! We need to forgive ourselves!! When I have been going through different healing process I had to come to terms that I needed to forgive me!! When the Lord looks at you he doesn't see your past, your faults, He sees a beautiful women cleansed with his precious blood and worth more than all the precious stones (Psalms 31.10). He sees potential! And guess what that is what we do not see in our lives, our potential! It produces great feelings of guilt making us miserable and constantly hanging on to that past that really does more hurt to our lives then to the other person! So from this moment on do as I did take the decision to forgive yourself! See your self as Jesus sees you! Understand yourself! Love yourself! Apply the process of forgiveness to yourself and you will see how you can move forward and become that women you are intended to be! Strong! Brave! Beautiful!

Letting go is proved to lead you to:

• Healthier relationships
• Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
• Less stress and hostility
• Lower blood pressure
• Fewer symptoms of depression, anxiety and chronic pain
• Lower risk of  substance abuse

Remember, this is a process and  it is your decision all the way but you have a Saviour who is by your side just waiting for you to take the first step! God is waiting for you!

"Look at me. I stand at the door. I knock. If you hear me call and open the door, I'll come right in and sit down to supper with you. Conquerors will sit alongside me at the head table, just as I, having conquered, took the place of honor at the side of my Father. That's my gift to the conquerors! Revelation 3.20,21"

Always remember God has great plans for you and me! Plans for your good, plans for you to conquer!

Blessings!

"How to survive"

Survive-To carry on despite hardships or trauma; persevere. To remain functional or usable.

This morning I was getting ready to go to the gym and take my son to college so when we were getting to the car I was already sweating and all the sudden my son asked "Hey mom do you sweat a lot cause of your menopause or your high pressure?" Witch I had to respond "well cause of meno, high blood pressure and problems with my thyroid gland" Dear Lord, had to laugh out loud! Not only two but three different problems! My son told me "man I have to write a book titled How to survive your mom's menopause".....definitely never thought I would be passing this momentum! It was a funny moment that got me thinking!!

When you are raising your kids you never stop to think about how will you be at the 50+ stage, seriously never thought I would get there! Cause definitely I would of have to write my own book "How to survive a son with ADHD"  (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) "People with ADHD have trouble paying attention, controlling impulsive behaviors (might act without thinking about what the result will be), and in some cases, are overly active." you can try to imagine what a day with an ADHD boy would be!  My day never ended and when finally it was time to have a good night rest I would have to deal with another case in that one the book had to be titled "How to survive a Adulteress, cheating spouse!!" (sexual infidelity to one's spouse) Unbelievable! I don't even know how I survived! Well, I do...

I have to thank the Lord for his love and for his unconditional grace!  Only by the grace of God have I been able to remain functional and usable! I have been a born again Christian ever since I remember but when I got into a serious and intimate relationship with God is when I have been feeling Him carry me through all my traumas and emotional turmoils! God has been my counselor and my friend in those days that I look at myself and feel that I do not want to keep on living! He has been with me when I feel like killing someone..He stops me!! When I feel like getting into my car and driving and driving and driving to know-where..in this island it is to small to get some place! He gets me up when I feel like staying all day on the couch..although sometimes I do it cause it feels good and I weigh a lot !! God promises he has a better life for me, promises good not bad for me! Only in that moment that I made mine that scripture was I able to understand that I can give him my every little detail of my life! and don't get me wrong I have all kinds of bad days, but He helps me survive them!! I have been on meds for my menopausal symptoms but still all there! Am trying natural medications but still there! But if not for His grace where would I be!!

And then another detail that the Lord sent me, specially for me! Mario!! My second husband!! He is a gentleman and respects me and lets me be just as I am!! With my hot flushes and all!! So cool!! He completes me and ignores me when I get insane...and that is so wonderful! My son laughs because he has his moments and I am paused and calmed telling him to take it easy and when I am hysterical mode he stays super calm and gets me through! So we compliment each other and that is very important for me to survive! "He inclusively passed with me the other surviving stage "Empty Nest Syndrome" ( a general feeling of loneliness that parents or guardians may feel when one or more of their children leave home; it is more common in women) and that is tough since he passed it as if it where his one kids!

And last but not least good humor makes surviving much fun and easier! You have to laugh of youself and about evryone that makes your life miserable! They will hate it and you will feel so relieved! Laughing will make you look younger and give you energy!! HaHa! It will you will see! God is funny and cool!!

Well looking back to this morning: Yes you can survive by the grace of God!! there can be lots of books and details to how to but at the end of all it is the word of God and depositing your emotions in Him is how you and I can survive our daily  issues! the Lord is always there waiting for you and me to call Him and yes, the Lord will deliver! It is not easy! It is not perfect! It is not instant insanity but He will help you throughout every step of the way! I am a true survivor that can tell you it is true, you can do it! Just let yourself  in the hands of the Lord! Persevere and you  will make it!

God has great plans for you! Love you! Blessings!

The Real Houswife

Housewife is a term used to describe a married woman with household responsibilities who is not employed outside the home. Merriam Webster describes a housewife as a married woman who is in charge of her household.

I have been watching today The Real Housewives of New Jersey a reality show that is giving lots to talk about. There are a couple more of these reality shows from different parts of USA and are not  at all what a real housewife is...It gives you the feeling that OMG I would like that life! But guess what? Not our reality...It is more than meets the eye to be a true housewife specially in our modern society so I looked up for what the Bible has to say and found out this:

A good woman is hard to find,
   and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
   and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
   all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
   and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
   and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast
   for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
   then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
   rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
   is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
   diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need,
   reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn't worry about her family when it snows;
   their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
   and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
   when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
   brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
   and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
   and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
   and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
   her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things,
   but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
   The woman to be admired and praised
   is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
   Festoon her life with praises! Proverbs 31 (MSG)

She is a women that always is ready, sews, wonderful, respected, diligent,  elegant,  OMG! she sounds like me! Well at least I try but the best of all this definition found in Proverbs is that at the end the writer says "Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!" That is truly amazing! That is directed to the spouse in other words you have a great wife, give her everything she needs, respect her and above all praise her!

Being a True Housewife is not an easy task but it could be possible if you put everything in Jesus hand! Be the best you can be beautiful Women of God! You will receive what you want! God always wants the best for you and me!

Be blessed!

Metamorphosis? Menopause?

Metamorphosis is a biological process by which an animal physically develops after birth or hatching, involving a conspicuous and relatively abrupt change in the animal's body structure through cell growth and differentiation.

Menopause is a term used to describe the permanent cessation of the primary functions of the human ovaries. The transition from reproductive to non-reproductive is the result of a major reduction in female hormonal production by the ovaries.

Today reading these definitions got to the origin of this blog! Both are abrupt changes!! Haha! Yes all the sudden life changes!! My Meno-path started 10 yrs ago when I had to receive a total hysterectomy (is the surgical removal of the uterus and cervix y todas las madres)! I celebrate it because it was near the 9/11 tragedy. Well life really changed for me! All the sudden no more menstruations for me, and that is definitely good! But oh the awesomeness of mood changes! That kind of hit me ! 

All the sudden I found myself thinking "Evelyn Gabriel what the are you doing here in this abusive and hurtful relationship?"  That was a big question in that moment of my life. I had suffered through various moments of infidelity and I thought that forgiveness and restoration where for me but found out that it is not always possible and I am for it but it has to be both persons in the relationship that have to be willing to fight and work for the relation to heal and keep on getting better, it is not a one person mission. I had to fight with the Lord that would keep on talking to  me saying " You know what you have to do, I am with you." It was not till we had to pass through a hurtful experience one night with my children that I finally decided to end all the hurting and lying that I had been exposing myself and my children! The devil is a liar and a deceptive cheater and we let him in our lives because we think life ends if we divorce and it is not true! Although I know my children have been hurt by our ending a family I have become stronger and I know my children are more sane and safe as if before.  

Changes hurt, cheating hurts, menopause hurts, metamorphosis hurts more! But definitely all  come to an end.  The hurting will not last forever! Praise God for that!! All come to a halt! Changes are good and the Lord always wants the best for us! I don't wish for that to happen to you my friend it really hurts more if that person was your best friend but that also comes to an end just been working on it more than I thought lately, cause it hurts but God is so good he sent me an awesome man of God (that would have to be another blog) and got married to my best friend! so God has better and greater plans! Plans to prosper you! Plans for the best!

Menopause and metamorphosis are abrupt changes but can be the best time of your life if you let yourself fall into the arms of the almighty Lord!! I am having fun and loving these changes!! Let the Lord guide you and follow him to where He wants to take you, you will have fun!! What is the worst thing that could happen in the hands of the Lord?

Blessed

"Dieting anyone?"

"Dieting is the practice of eating food in a regulated fashion to achieve or maintain a controlled weight. In most cases dieting is used in combination with physical exercise to lose weight in those who are overweight or obese. Some athletes, however, follow a diet to gain weight (usually in the form of muscle). Diets can also be used to maintain a stable body weight."

I wake every morning to go the gym and start my daily exercises and mainly take 2.5 hours of workout and lately been trying my best to eat more healthy, so all the sudden I look at my weight and it is the same!! Haven't lost not even one ounce! Du got me frustrated! All the sudden I am looking around for some diet and reading and learning more about healthier eating and started eating more organic and natural food no red meat, no butter, no eggs only egg whites, no bread only natural potato bread even drank potato milk and guess what?...no shredded pounds! It is kind of hard sometimes getting to my age (52), menopausal, little crazy and to top that no weight loss!

Well had to go to my Doctors appointment and took some blood test he had ordered for me.  That morning did my spinning class, 45 min of hard labor! Got to the Dr. office and sat down, he took my BP and had it really high! OMG! But Dr. I took my pills I am doing exercises, I do spinning, zumba, weight training, eating light, no salt! So he looked at me "Why are you not losing weight?" ha what a question and immediately I started crying he got desperate please don't cry or I will cry also! It was such a funny moment for me and emotional at the same time. You get to a point in life that it is nearly impossible for you as a women to lose at least 5 miserable pounds and my Dr. is asking me why I do not lose weight! He looked up my blood test results and it so happens that my thyroid gland is just like me, crazy! It is not working how it should be so kind of got a crazy body. Gave me some ideas and diet tips to follow, changed medications so I am starting to lose my weight and feel better! Dieting is not an easy task when you have the combination of many years with bad habits and when all develops around food, but your suppose to make it.

When we spend time with God in a regimen of reading the Bible, praying and fasting and all the sudden you feel you are not getting any where you feel like the diet plan! Eating healthier and not losing a pound! When I went to my Dr. I felt as when you go and look up all your diet plan, reading the Bible, check, praying, check, fasting, check! and results, not seen yet! And why is there no answers! Well sometime all we need is to change our strategy and start a new regimen in our journey with the Lord! Got to see in what area we have to cut down and what area we have to exercise more! The Lord is always at the same place waiting for us but we complicate our own journey or sometimes our angel who is bringing us our answer had to make a stop to fight for us. God always answers our prayers, sometimes got to wait, sometimes it is yes, others is no but it gets there just got to learn to wait. Sometimes we want to lose 10 pounds in one week but if you to take it one step at a time a healthy way is to lose 2-3 pounds a week and we will get those 10 pounds off forever in a more healthier way!

Yep prayer is part of our special diet to get to be that women or men of God we always aspire to become! At least I do! I know it is hard for me but I sure am trying! Dieting not easy when you love food! Praying not easy when you are tired and want to sleep or do not find time but makes the diet more easy to follow!

Well one thing I know! Prayer changes everything!  Dieting changes my life! Maybe I'll lose some pounds or my mind but I'll keep on trying!

Love you all! Remember the Lord always has the most greatest plans for you! Plans for your good health and awesome life!

Blessings!

"Rut"

1. A sunken track or groove made by the passage of vehicles.

2. A fixed, usually boring routine.

 

Been feeling lately that I am in a deep sunken rut. What a bad feeling, all the sudden didn't even have the slightest idea or feeling to write down something on my blog. Well since the purpose of a blog is to write down your feelings, a form of expression, it is sometimes defined as an on-line diary, mine would be A Dairy of a Menopausal Women! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid) Well finally got to start writing again!

 

Ha it is so funny because it is 4:00 AM and had to pass through a moment of how can I call it, a middle age crisis. It is one of those moments you know you are in that age group......I have to eat dinner early being that at 4:00 PM so last night ate at 6:30 PM and truly enough woke up! du So I decided well I am here awake no interruptions might as well use my time positively!

Been reading lately lots of books on prayer and Spiritual Warfare to get inspired and to learn more on those themes that I do love and even through all that enrichment  still been feeling in a rut  like I do not know what to say to God! I know that people will say Oh it is that He is working on it, or it will come, the answer is on it's way, etc.  I have learned that all that is an excuse, even sounds lame when you are feeling down and not receiving some answers so her I am writing down my little problem that has me down so  I know  that some way the Lord is speaking to me right now, He is using this moment of frustration to tell me I am in Control! So might as well call this a Menopausal Momentum! An Aw moment! Those moments that you recieve ilumination from  up above!

 

God is in control of our every day situations and although I would love to hear His voice like others say or feel Him telling  me what to do, He is in control! I do not have dreams where He speaks or shows me something, He is in control! He carries me!....Yes He has me in his arms with all my frustrations and my ruts! 

 

Do not let the ruts and frustrations  get you down for too much time! Give the Lord your life, your frustrations, your rut and He will deliver! God will give you the victory and the promises He made to you and me!

 

Thank you Lord for this moment and I pray and present  to you all my blogger friends! I declare blessings and the favor of the Lord over there lives in Jesus name! Amen!!

Menopausal?

“Menopause is a term used to describe the permanent cessation of the primary functions of the human ovaries: the ripening and release of ova and the release of hormones that cause both the creation of the uterine lining and the subsequent shedding of the uterine lining (a.k.a. the menses or the period). Menopause typically (but not always) occurs in women in midlife, during their late 40s or early 50s, and signals the end of the fertile phase of a woman's life.”

Today I was reading “Top 5 Reasons Menopause is Misunderstood and What People Think It Is” and the one I truly felt so me was:

“#2. Are you more outspoken, or more opinionated than you used to be? Do you have a more devil may care attitude. Do you lose interest quickly if your kids, friends, spouse or partner don’t succinctly come to the point about what they are talking about?  Are you suffering from some attention deficit disorder?           No it is menopause.”

Made me laugh so much because that is how I have been more lately then ever I tell my kids hey I am more than 50 anything can come out of my mouth! So it is a sign that I am in menopause! Ha! So now I know that or either I am crying for my kids or I don’t care about how they want to throw away their lives! Either I love my hubby or I just want to get rid of him! It is normal in this stage of life! So I am normal!!

It’s so important to know and understand our body and all the phases we go through so we can be better women and live a healthier and full life! God made us special and has even greater plans for each and one of us but it is up to us how we are going to live and take care of your body that is temple of the Holy Spirit! Know yourself and be alert of the signs that your body is giving you!

These are some symptoms you may experience, learn to protect yourself and take charge of your life! God is in control! You do the possible! God doses the impossible!: Hot flashes, mood swings, sexual problems, headaches, aching joints, and dry skin.

I now am trying to have fun with my “meno” moments, I know the Lord made me special and has bigger plans for me, so having the ball of my life!!

Always remember you are special and God has plans for your good!

Be blessed! Receive all my love! Enjoy and delight yourself in the Lord!!